Back to articles Five is the Loneliest Number

Categories: Parenting

Ann helps a mom out with ideas on how to find time for three kids and her relationship.


Every time I read one of those parenting articles that talks about how having kids affects your marriage and sex life, I think, “They’re writing about my life!” I know why things are this way—we have three children under three, including a set of twins who are terrible sleepers—but I am too tired to figure out what we can do to start reconnecting as a couple, given how tired and busy we are. Any suggestions?

 • Create a “couple oasis” somewhere in your home. Place a cafe-sized table and two chairs in a corner of the living room where you can steal ten minutes for an early-morning cup of coffee or a late-night glass of wine.
• Share a babysitter with three other families in your neighborhood. If you book the babysitter for each Friday night and take turns going out on the town as a couple, each couple will be guaranteed “date night” at least once a month.
• Find little ways to let your partner know he’s still as special as ever, even if the two of you are currently being tossed around by that hurricane known as parenthood.
• Realize that parenting won’t always be this intense. If you can hang tight—and hold one another tightly in regular impromptu kitchen hugs!—you will get through this together.


Ann Douglas is the author of numerous books about pregnancy and parenting, including The Mother of All Pregnancy Books, The Mother of All Baby Books, The Mother of All Toddler Books, The Mother of All Parenting Books, Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler, and Mealtime Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler. Find Ann online at